3 Books to Lust Over

OK, besides the Fifty Shades of Grey, what are some other steamy and informative pieces to put your mind to use? Well! We met Lidia-Anain Bjorkquist at CatalystCon last week. Of course, we wanted to share her great work, including SexLoveJoy.

She loves books so we had to share her love and inspiration, below are just a small sample of the wonderful books she recommends and why.

Looking for fall reading? Check out these lusty books below! Thanks Lidia for these awesome book recommendations.

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It is a fact that I read a lot. I really do have a lust for reading and consuming books. It is also a fact that my favorite season for retreating into books for escape, healing, learning, and all things revitalization is Fall. My Amazon wishlist of books is currently filled with over five hundred books that have been asking to come home to me.

Yes, they beg me daily as I look through the wishlist seeing which one’s cry is the loudest and new releases usually don’t cry loud enough. But this year there are so many great books coming out in September that I am feeling torn. Books that are coming out in September have made their way to the very top of my list; cannot wait to get my hands on these new releases and I haven’t even gotten through my new August read.

I am private about my collection of books but because these because all seem like great reads, I’ve decided to share (a shortened version of) my Fall reading list with you. It might sound silly but it makes me feel extremely vulnerable to share this list publicly.

List is in the order that I will be reading them.

1) The Erotic
2) Playing Well with Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities
3) Hot and Fast: Sexy, Spontaneous Quickies for Passionate Orgasms

Book #1

Title: The Erotic

Written by: Lou Andreas-Salomé

Book Description

Lou Andreas-Salomé may seem to be a figure remote from us, one belonging to a pre-1914 Europe, but in many ways, she is our contemporary. She travelled in a highly romantic world as socialite, sociologist, and author. She was part of Georg Simmel’s salon, the most exclusive in Berlin, frequented by elusive poet Stefan Georg, dramatist Paul Ernst, social theorist and polymath Max Weber, and Georg Lukács, among others.

Salomé’s unique contribution to the erotic was that she argued sexual difference ran deeper than economics, and equality—the politics of Marx and the ideals of the French Revolution. For Salomé, to think about women and their erotic nature, you must start with their biological and psychological difference, not their economic situation.

Salomé was an outstanding theorist. Her books on Nietzsche and on Rilke are major studies. The field of psychoanalysis would not have developed in the way it did without Lou Andreas-Salomé. We cannot understand Freud’s “rationalism” or his anti-religious sensibility without Salomé’s writings. This new English translation is an essential text of psychoanalysis, one that shaped the very conception of the field.

Why I want to read it

Lou Andreas-Salomé is a woman that I consider an icon and that I highly admire because of her intelligence. She was a brave woman that lived and loved as she pleased in a time when this wasn’t acceptable for women to do. While many admire Anaïs Nin, I choose to admire the woman that Anaïs admired and I think she wished she could have been.

If you love Anaïs Nin then you should become familiar with Lou Andreas-Salomé due to one simple fact: All-things-Lou Andreas-Salomé > All-things-Anaïs Nin.

Book #2

Title

Playing Well with Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities

Written by: Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams

Book Description

Whether you’re a trembling novice or a jaded expert, there’s always something new to be discovered in the endlessly changing, complex and titillating world of kink. While there are plenty of other books out there that explain how to give a spanking or tie a half-hitch, Playing Well With Others is the first book that explains kink *culture* — the munches, parties, leather bars, conferences, workshops, fetish nights, exploratoriums and all the other gatherings of kinksters that turn BDSM and leather from a bedroom predilection to a lifestyle and a community.

You’ll learn to:

* Examine your own motivations, needs, wants and desires
* Ease your way into established communities
* Understand etiquette in different adventurous sex communities
* Familiarize yourself with the many types of events available to you
* Care for your relationships as you explore new territory
* Negotiate for play and aftercare
* Go back to the “world at large” without ruffling feathers
* …and, of course, answer the all-important question: What do you wear?! The team of Harrington and Williams offers 30-plus years of experience in diverse kink communities: top, bottom and switch; gay, bi and straight; female, male and trans; white and POC. Both former titleholders and international educators, they are an unbeatable pair of “sexual sherpas” with an inimitable voice and a great deal of wisdom. Playing Well With Others is an unprecedented and essential guidebook for anyone who wants to explore or understand the “community” aspect of the kink lifestyle.

Why I want to read it

I’ve heard Mollena Williams tell a couple of stories at Bawdy Storytelling and she blew me away with her storytelling. As a sex educator I like to stay up on what is written about sexuality by other sex educators, especially if it is a topic that I am digging deeper into in my personal life as well.

Book #3

Title

Hot and Fast: Sexy, Spontaneous Quickies for Passionate Orgasms

Written by: Megan Andelloux

Book Description

Megan Andelloux worked for nine years as a youth-focused sexuality educator in NY, RI, CT, and NJ before bringing her love for teaching at a locally run feminist sex-shop in Providence, RI.

She is a regular contributor for various media sources, a sexuality consultant for medical organizations, and a contributing author in the books “We Got Issue: A Feminist Response to Cultural Attitudes On Feminism” and “Sex and Society”. She lectures internationally at colleges, universities, medical schools, and sexuality institutions on issues surrounding sexual pleasure, sexual health, politics, and erotic justice.

Why I want to read it

Simply because it was written by Megan Andelloux. I am definitely a fan of her work and as a sex educator I want to pickup as many tips, tricks and techniques that I can pass on to clients and readers.

This post was cross-posted originally from SexLoveJoy.

This is a post from Lidia-Anain Bjorkquist, the woman behind sexlovejoy.com.

Lidia is a SFSI certified sex educator who helps her clients to cultivate healthy sex lives and mindful relationships that empower them to thrive both in and out of the bedroom. She believes that shameless exploration and expression of sexuality, love and pleasure are the keys to creating lasting joy. Find her on Facebook and Twitter @SexLoveJoy.

Happy 11th Anniversary Early To Bed!

Happy 11th Anniversary Early To Bed!

You didn't know about Early to Bed? You're really missing out! This is their 10th anniversary and GetLusty for Couples couldn't be happier they exist!

Early to bed, located on 5232 North Sheridan Rd (check out the map below) is the primer adult toy store in Chicago.

They opened up its doors back in September 2001 with a mission to give women clean, beautiful and knowledgeable options for their sexual success.

They are staffed with open-minded, sex positive professionals who are ready to answer  all of your questions. From sex toys, to anal or oral, to planning your night of nocturnal naughtiness. Like every other adult store, Early to bed's shoppers are 18+, and range in sex, sexuality, relationship status and sexual creed.

Owner, Searah Deysach found her life's mission while doing some sexy shopping for herself. However, the trip could've been sexier. The store she went to was filled with the stereotypical things you would find at a male-oriented adult store. Boring dildos and blow-up dolls, boo!

She asked the clerk, a female, a simple question and was disappointed to find her lacking the knowledge of the products she was selling. Searah dreamed of a better sex toy store. Immediately, Searah knew what she had to do and soon found herself on the path to helping others just like her. 

One of the best things about Early to Bed is not only do they sell awesome sex toys in a relaxed environment. They also host events like blow job classes and other awesome workshops (which we'll be publicizing soon). We will be partnering with ETB on events in the very near future!

This is a guest post by our very own Crimson Love.

Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson Love at amber@getlusty.com.

Come for a Cause this #SexToyTuesday

Lets get eco-friendly for this week's #SexToyTuesday! From September 9-September 13 two Babeland Sex Educators from Seattle will bike 300 miles down the California Coast as part of Climate Ride to raise money for sustainable energy solutions and bike advocacy. Megan Collier and Ashley Allen have raised almost $5,000! Go Team Babeland!

If you would like to help their efforts you can either purchase one of the eco-friendly products online or donate directly to their team's fundraising page.

Babeland's eco-friendly sex toys are made of body-friendly materials: silicone, stainless steel, glass, and wood.
Glass, wood and steel sex toys are made from renewable resources, which are easier on the planet. Rechargeable vibrators don’t use batteries: when you use a rechargeable toy, you save up to 100 dead batteries per year from hitting the landfill!

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1. Solar Bullet Vibrator- $5 from every purchase is donated to the eco-cause

"Eight hours of exposure to sunshine provides one hour of blissful two-speed vibration against your clit, balls, perineum... you decide. Makes a perfect gift for your favorite tree-hugging pleasure-seeker, or bring it on your next camping trip. To top it all off, the box is printed to environmentally responsible Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) standards." The Solar Bullet Vibrator is sure to bring sunshine into your life.




2. Eco-Sexy Kit - $10 donated to the eco-cause

"This all-in-one kit includes the earth- and body-friendly Solar Bullet, which harnesses the power of the sun to bring you pure pleasure. A 4-oz bottle of BabeLube Natural(vegan, paraben-free, petroleum-free, glycerin-free) keeps things slick and smooth with organic ingredients and botanicals, while a 3-oz Babeland Body Massage Candle sets the scene for warm, sensual massage (scent may vary). Top off your sexcapade with Birds 'n Bees Condoms, produced by a well-regarded Swedish non-profit whose testing process is 15 times more stringent than any other condom company in the world!"

3. Babeland Eco-Tote Bag- $1 donated to eco-cause

"Whether you're shopping for sex toys, groceries, or anything else, show your Babeland pride with our Babeland Eco-Tote Bag. This sturdy, vibrant polyester tote carries a surprising amount of stuff (25-pound capacity), while declaring to the world (via "Babe" and a small Babeland logo emblazoned on the front) that you're confident, empowered, and have great taste in sex toy stores. And best of all, you can carry this eco-friendly bag around with you wherever you go - it stuffs easily into a tiny pouch, so you can whip it out whenever the need arises. Comes with a small metal carabiner."

Gags & Clips 101 for #SexToyTuesday

It's #SexToyTuesday. Need some ideas to rev up your love life? Ellen is here to the sexual rescue with some toys that you can add into your bedroom for the ultimate pleasure thrill!

Last week it was smacks and whips, this week is gags and clips! That's right, we dare you to go into that exquisite realm of bondage, pain, and most of all pleasure.

Going along with our Fifty Shades of Grey September, this sex toy round up is all about sensuous torture. Restraints, nipple clamps, ball gags, oh my! And all brought to you by the sinfully sexy Pinkcherry!

This is another great article by our own Ellen Dukes.

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Nipple clamps

First up are the infamous nipple clips or clamps. As you may remember from this month's inspiration, Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, nipple clamps are a favorite in bondage play. Whether it's sucking, pinching, prodding, or pulling the nipples, clamps are meant to flirt with the painful side of pleasure. Don't let the discomfort angle scare you off readers. Nipple clips can be perfectly harmless, especially for beginners, when used correctly.

Also, remember, both sexes have nipples, so this needn't be for the women only. When picking out a nipple product, you can test the strength on your finger or even better, the flesh of your arm, which is fairly sensitive. A good rule of thumb is that if it hurts your finger, your nipple is not going to be happy. Definitely work up to the stronger clamps if that's your goal- it can be done.

For beginners, I would suggest a sucking type of clamp like Pinkcherry's Mini Nipple Suckers as foreplay to stimulate them to full attention. It's easy to use (simply squeeze and let go on the nipple). If you are up for something more, try either My First Nipple Clamps or Nipplettes Vibrating Nipple Clamps.

Both vibrate wirelessly (which can help intensify the pressure in a good way), are waterproof, and, best of all, fully adjustable for whichever kind of level you are at. Pairing some trusty nipple clamps with restraints (and heck, throw in a blindfold!) will work superbly as torture play. Tease, tease, and tease your partner some more with the exquisite pressure of nipple clamps. They will definitely bring out your naughtier side.

Blind folds

Next, is the realm of sensory deprivation.
It may sound like a small and simple item,
but a blindfold can make a word of difference.
Covering your or your lover's eyes creates
a vunerability that can be quite thrilling.

You don't know what caress or lick will go where or when, creating a sensual tension. Plus, with a good quality blind fold dampening your sight, other sensations will take charge with a vengeance.

Try covering your lovers eyes while whispering something very naughty into his/her ear. Or, even better, both strip to the buff, make sure the blind is secure, and surprise them by ravishing different parts of their body, or rubbing parts of yours all over them. Especially paired with your favorite restraint (which I'll definitely hit later) blindfolds can be a surprisingly new way to spice up your usual love making.

Most any cloth material will work as a makeshift blindfold, but I would suggest Pinkcherry's Plushy Gear Lover's Eye Mask. It's soft, dark, and molds to your face making each wear comfy with all the sexy benefits of sensory deprivation.

Restraints

Restraints can also heighten that sexual tension. Whether they be the cool metal of handcuffs (please, do make sure you have the key!), the flexibility of rope, or the simplicity of sheets tied to the bedpost, restraining a lover is a whole new world of love making.

But first things first, some safety tips.

Have an exit: Make sure you both are comfortable with untying the knot or unlocking the cuff. I doubt sexy times can happen without an exit. Of course, intercourse can definitely take place whilst restrained, but when one partner is not quite as into it, or the fun times are over, release has a whole other meaning.

Too tight or just right?: This is a biggie: watch how tightly you knot the material or cuff. Cutting off circulation can get pretty unsexy in a hurry. So if you or your partner feel any numbness, pain, or strain in the tied limb, speak up so the restraint can be released. Having a mutual safety word as well as trying a few practice knots on yourself can get you up to par and ready for a real session.

Once you're a-ok with ropes, cuffs, or whatever you're using, get ready to tease your partner until they beg for more! For beginners, I would suggest using either Pinkcherry's Fetish Fantasy Bed Bindings or the Beginner's Bondage Fantasy Kit. Both have very user friendly restraints (the bed bindings doesn't even need a post or headboard!) to ease you into your bondage fantasies.

Are you or your partner successfully restrained? Now, tease your way up and down their body, varying the pressure and consistency of your touches or (even better) licks. Incorporate food (just watch out for sugary substances in the vagina, yeast infections are not fun) or other toys. Even your most steadfast vibrator can turn into a whole new experience once you're in control. I highly advise using a blindfold and using ice on the most sensitive area. Go between the shocking cold of the ice and the intimate warmth of your mouth for a real treat.

Gags


Though there is very real potential for drool with this torture device, I say go for it! Another deprivation is speech. When you can't tell your lover what you want, you must rely on moans, groans, and body language. The gag can be a major prop in role playing.

Try some rougher play, with restraints and even a blindfold. The gag is meant to be power play, so maybe a game of sex slave for the afternoon with your lover on hands and knees with the ball gag and nothing else. Or the classic break-in situation, with a burglar restraining and gagging the unsuspecting victim before ravaging their body. It's completely up to you.

As for products, try the Beginner Ball Gag to see if you like the feel. This gag is tapered towards the back to keep the jaw from opening too wide, making for a more comfortable experience. Those looking for more should consider stepping up to the Spider Gag. Just make sure you keep proper hygiene in safely washing these toys, since they are going in your mouth. Many are silicone, rubber, latex, or metal, so easily washable, or even bleachable.

With your gag, simply insert into your/your partner's mouth, adjust the strap, and there you go. Some more complicated gags have different parts, metal bits, or can be adjusted in multiple fashions. Also, since a safety word will be harder understand, be sensitive to each others body language, as it will indicate what they're feeling. Overall, make sure you're comfortable with the gag and then unleash your wilder fantasies.


This is a guest post by GetLusty writer, Ellen Dukes. Though Ellen Dukes is not an ethical slut (a damn respectable title, she'll have you know), her curiosity, openness, and the indefatigable search engine Google have lead her to a 21st century sex education.

A Chicagoan, you may see Ellen enjoying the delights of her deeply loving relationship with her boyfriend. Have a naughty story? She's heard naughtier, but tell her all the same at ellen@getlusty.com. She's a wannabe sexpert with years of porn viewing, listening to sex stories, and textbook browsing just waiting to put this knowledge to wonderful use.