Podcast! Dr. Jallen Rix on Honesty for Deeper Love

Dr. Jallen Rix survived a strict, religious upbringing and ex-gay ministry. He wrote a book about it, and came out of the experience a more complete, honest person.

He's very secure in his sexuality and teaches others about how to realize their own sexual interests. How can monogamous couples have a more fulfilling love life? We talked with him about honest, loving experiences.

What we talked about:

• What brought Jallen here? 
• Why is it so important to be honest with your partner sexually? 
• Why did he write his wonderful book, "Ex-Gay No Way" and what's it all about, anyway?
• OK, so he's gay & poly. My husband is bisexual, is yours? Dr. Jallen answers how to integrate fantasy into your healthy relationship.
• How can couples interested in bi-sexuality but not in polyamory explore?
• What are different kinds of monogamy & why do they matter? 
• What's in the prospect for Dr. Jallen? What's next?

More about Jallen:

Speaker, author, and educator, Jallen Rix has come a long way to be a sex expert. Growing up as a Southern Baptist, he was taught that spirituality was heavenly but sexuality was from the devil. While obtaining a B.A. in creative arts and a minor in theology, he also went to great lengths attempting to change his sexuality from gay to straight in an ex-gay ministry- to no avail.

That experience set him on a journey of discovery that ultimately resulted in Jallen earning his Doctorate of Education in Sexology from The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, where he is now Associate Professor.

He pens the popular advice column, Sex Ed in Bed. As a sexologist, Jallen creates an accepting and safe environment that provides support, humor and insight for a wide variety of people to raise their awareness for a more positive and healthier sexuality. Learn more about Jallen Rix by reading his book, "Ex-Gay No Way." Follow him on Twitter @gaysexpert and subscribe on Facebook.

Podcast! Kitty Stryker Talks Consent in BDSM

Kitty Stryker is pretty wonderful. She's been working with sex workers for quite some time and her work is even transnational!

She's talked about sex worker rights from London to San Francisco. She now runs Cum & Glitter, a live sex show in San Francisco, that recently went Folsom-style for San Francisco folks.

We recently caught up with Kitty at CatalystCon last week. What we talked about:

• What is her new "Consent Culture" project all about?
• Why does she think BDSM needs more consent?
• What's wrong with FetLife policies around BDSM scenes? 
• What brought about Cum & Glitter?
• Why did she get into sex education & sex work?
• What's Cum & Glitter all about?
• What's next for Kitty?

More about Kitty:

Kitty Stryker is a geeky sex worker, Burner, rabid writer and feminist activist with one high-heeled boot in San Francisco, California and one in London, England.

In London, Stryker worked with the TLC Trust, an online organization connecting people with disabilities with sex workers experienced with emotional or physical limitations. She is the founder of the award-winning Ladies High Tea and Pornography Society, and was nominated by the Erotic Awards as Sex Worker of the Year for her charity and activism work.

Now back in the States, Stryker has been presenting Safe/Ward, a workshop on combating entitlement culture within alternative sexual communities, along with being the PR rep for the Bay Area Sex Workers Outreach Project promoting sex worker rights.

She has written for Good Vibrations, Filament, and Tits and Sass, built a social media strategy for Cleis Press, and consults with sex workers about their online presence. Additionally, she's performed for several pornographic sites and been interviewed for multiple documentaries. Read more from Stryker on her personal blog, Purrversatility. Also find her on Twitter @kittystryker and Facebook.

Sexpert? Can I Interview You?

GetLusty is all about recommending tools, tips and other active ways to improve your relationship and have better sex. Therefore, we wanted to invite participation from the sex education, psychology, psychiatry and sociology community. We've already interviewed nearly a dozen sex educators and therapists.

Learn from the best

How do world renowned sex educators, sexologists or sex therapists recommend you make love better? What are some best practices for improving our sexual experiences as couples? 

Are you a sexpert?

We invite sex educators, sex startup owners, sex workers, sex therapists and sexologists onto our podcast series to talk improving intimacy & empowering your sexual life. Haven't heard our podcasts? We've interviewed greats like Megan Andelloux, Shanna Katz and numerous others. They're on SoundCloud. A more complete list of sexpert interviews are available here.

Would you like to be featured to our growing international audience? Fill out the form below & a GetLusty rep will get back to you to schedule an interview with our Chief Lust Officer, Erica Grigg. Want to get in touch with her about business opportunities? E-mail her directly at erica@getlusty.com.

Maria Falzone Talks Sex Positive Parenting

We talk a lot about sex. Many of you are parents out there and you might be wondering how to talk to your kids about sex. I know many-a-child has been curious (including me at a young age), but their parents weren't there to talk about sex.

We've all had questions and we still have more questions. For example, how does one even broach the subject? How can we do it in a safe way without inducing shame and fear for our children? Why should parents teach their children about sex early? How early is too early?

Without further ado, what we talked about:

• How Maria got started as a sex comedian & lecturer 
• Why it's so important to talk to your kids about sex
• Saving your kids from sexual abuse through educating them about sex
• Start a dialogue with your kids about sex without them rushing in to have it
• What's next for Maria's sex education foundation (that brings sex educators to universities and cities across the USA)
• Why she wants to travel & spread the message

More about Maria

Maria Falzone is one of the most sought after speakers on safer sex at the college level. Each year colleges and universities invite her back to teach the essential rules to greater and safer sex. Unlike other lectures, Maria shares her personal story of shame and suffering about sex and how after contracting herpes from a friend she was forced to honestly look at her attitude about sex.

In Maria's words: "We live in a society where we get conflicting messages about sex. Our parents and Society tell us to wait. In the world of advertising sex sells. So we end up thinking that we should just know how to have sex. Parents spend good money for us to go to college to get an education so that we can graduate and go out there and get a good job. But when it comes to sex, which most of us are going to have, (hopefully more than once) we have little to no information. Some of us end up emotionally or physically scarred."

Find Maria on Twitter @mariafalzone, Facebook and her website, Sex Rules.

Interview Exclusive! Kristy Lin Billuni on Sexy Grammar

You would never have thought grammar could be sexy, usually it triggers the exact opposite response.

Kristy Lin Billuni, The Sexy Grammarian, convinced us other wise! We want to introduce you to the concept of sexy grammar and to do so we went straight to the source. Read on to find out how grammar can be sexy and what it can do for your relationship in our lusty interview with Kristy.

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As her editing business grew, Kristy Lin Billuni sensed parallels in her teaching work and her sexy roots. Writers liked her naughty grammar lessons and responded to the sexual metaphor she applied to the art of writing. Her clients helped her recognize that her unique combination of skills offered a fun and easy approach to writing. She embraced the idea and in 2003 launched Sexy Grammar. You can connect with The Sexy Grammarian on Facebook and Twitter.

Kristy has also taught a how-to class at Good Vibrations, danced at the world-famous Lusty Lady, developed sex health curriculum for Stanford Medical School, and posed for the infamous photographer Charles Gatewood.

What is Sexy Grammar and how did it start? 

Sexy Grammar is a stimulating way for adults to learn grammar rules and writing skills like when to use lay or lie and how to write an effective newsletter. It’s also the name of my company. I’m a teacher and a writer, and I help clients finish their writing projects. I’ve been at if for 10 years, but I haven’t always called my company Sexy Grammar.

The only subject I’ve been teaching longer than I’ve been teaching writing is sex. When my writing services company started growing, I began to see parallels in my teaching work. My writing clients loved concepts I brought from teaching sex: understanding climax in orgasm and plot and undressing sentences to their stark, nude cores. I also found that creatives, whose eyes glazed over at grammar lessons, got engaged when I used dirty words in my examples.

At the same time, I worried about my professional identity online. If you googled me in 2003, you might have read a story about my activist stunt to float the World’s Biggest Vulva down Market Street or you might link to my writing services website. I felt I needed to hide the sex expert-Kristy from my writing clients.

I’m grateful to author and longtime client Drew Banks for sharing his expertise as a marketing guru. Drew showed me that my integrated identity, which included the sex work and sex ed as well as the editing and teaching writing, was my most valuable asset. When I embraced the sexual metaphor in my writing approach and named my company Sexy Grammar, my business took off.

How can people use Sexy Grammar to enhance their love lives? 

Sex and writing are both about self-expression. I believe that the principles that help people have better sex--let loose, be specific, lubricate—can help people become better writers. Whether you practice these skills in bed or at the writing desk, you’re going to be more turned-on, engaged, and creative. I think great writers almost always make great lovers and vice versa.


What is your favorite part about working in the world of sex?

I’ve noted one common thread among the radically diverse people I've met working in sex education, sexy writing, erotica, and the sex industry. We’re all dedicated to creativity and self-expression. Those are values I love sharing, and they keep me motivated in my work with writers every day.

What's next for you (your business, practice) over the next 6-12 months?

We just launched a new brand look and website in August, and in 2013 Sexy Grammar will celebrate 10 years in business. We believe there’s never been a more exciting time to be a writer, so we’re also celebrating the worldwide web’s writing renaissance and its opportunities for writers everywhere to express themselves and find an audience.

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Would you like to join an amazing lineup and do an interview with GetLusty? E-mail rachael@getlusty.com to get started!

Ducky Doolittle Dishes on Sex

Our mission at GetLusty is to end boring sex between couples, so who better to call upon to help us than Ducky Doolittle! She has worked extensively as a sex educator and author. Let's face it; she's awesome! We caught up with Ducky to ask her several questions about her work and inspiration. Check out her bio and the full interview below.

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More About Ducky

Ducky Doolittle is the author of Sex With The Lights On: 200 Illuminating Sex Questions Answered. She has spent the last two decades working in the field of sexuality.

She is a certified emergency room Sexual Assault and Violence Intervention Counselor and has trained with Planned Parenthood in comprehensive STD prevention and comprehensive & medically accurate sex education.

Ducky tours internationally, performing on campuses, medical schools, bachelorette parties, homeless youth drop-in centers, book clubs, church groups, sex shops and anywhere else she can gather a crowd. You can find her at DuckyDoolittle.com and on Twitter @Duckyduckdoo. Ducky also blogs regularly on Lipstick Stains on Your Pillow.

What we asked Ducky Doolittle (our interview)

* How did you get into sex blogging? Is it different from your other work in the field of sexuality?

Blogging for me is more than just about my work as a sex educator. There is plenty of sex content, but I also write about art, music, movies and my adventures. Where my work in sexuality is very focused on my audience and serving them, my blog is way for people to really get to know me as a person. If you are curious to know me, get on my blog and play with me.

* Why do you think having great sex is important? 

I think great sex is a luxury. Not everyone can afford it, and for a lot of reasons - be it emotional, physical or financial. I know this from personal experience; having grown up in poverty, homeless as a teenager, a former peepshow girl and having come out the other side of unwell relationships. These are all realities that can not be denied.

As a sex educator, I embrace these elements and respect them. But I also work hard to inspire people to find their joy. To assume it. Be it in sex or any other life skill. I want people to fuck hard, cook good food, manage money with grace and live lives that are fulfilling. It just happens that sex is the life skill that I am best at teaching.

* What, in your opinion, are challenges you see couples are facing today?

I think people get stressed out. They think they are very busy when in reality, time can be managed if you redefine your priorities. And I think it's very natural to fall into ruts when you are in long term relationships. Most of the things people complain about are very manageable once they acknowledge the issue. But it takes work.

* How do you measure a successful relationship? 

Are you smiling? When you think of that person and your interactions with them, are you smiling? That is the only question I ask you. It may sounds simple, because it is a simple measurement. But how you handle a bad relationship can be complex. When I look at any relationship, be it intimate, friendship or family, I ask myself, "Am I smiling?" If not, then I need to invest some time in caring for that relationship.

* GetLusty loves feminist porn, what's your favorite kind of porn? 

I like porn where I can see people are really loving what they are doing. There are specific actors I enjoy, like Belladonna and James Deen. (Oh my, we love Belladona by the way! Check her out on the left.) And there are certain producers who light me up, like Tristan Taormino and everyone at Kink.com.

* What's your favorite part about working in the world of sex?

I never stop learning. Ever. This keeps me engaged. I also love the people I meet and they stories they share with me.

*  What's next for you over the next 6-12 months?

I'm working hard to finish a book that is due. I am touring and presenting all over North America. And I just finished building a bondage bed. You know, for "research." :)

Devi Ward on Tantra & Women's Sexual Healing

At GetLusty, we realize we don't talk about tantra much. But that certainly isn't because we don't love tantra. We just need to find people to help us do it better! Devi Ward is the perfect example of why we should all utilize tantric sex and meditation. Especially if you feel you need sexual healing, or you've experienced sexual difficulty, this is for you!

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What we chatted about

• How Devi used tantra for her own sexual healing
• Where is the root of sexual trauma (hint: many sexual trauma's happen everyday, so you've likely had to experience it)
• Real-life ways you can do to jump over the hurdles of your sexual traumas (without drugs)
• Some of the many benefits for trying Tantra
• What you can expect from her upcoming book on self pleasure for ladies
• What success means to Devi (namely, feeling sexual abundance)

About Devi

Devi Ward is an International Authentic Tantra Educator & Sensual Empowerment Coach. Devi has been on a path of Erotic Awakening and Spiritual Embodiment since 1993, studying meditation, holistic healing arts, and alternative forms of erotic expression. Devi has been a Professional Sensual Movement Artist since 1992.

Devi is the Founder of Feminine Emergence and creator of Sacred Erotic Dance™ ; a Movement-Healing modality that uses The 5 Core Pelvic Movements™, Authentic Tantra™ & Sensual Dance, to produce physical, emotional and spiritual healing in our relationship to sexual and sensual self-expression.

Her first book “Shake Your Soul Song! A Woman’s Guide To Self-Empowerment Through The Art of Self-Pleasure” is scheduled for release in October 2012. Follow Devi on Twitter @deviwardtantra and on Facebook.

Dangerous Lilly on Porn, Sex & Couples

We love showcasing individuals helping couples end boring sex. Dangerous Lily is doing just that! She's a sex blogger and educator, and we think she's making waves. So we asked her several questions about her current projects. Check out her bio and the full interview below.

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More about Lilly

Lilly is an eclectic sex blogger who blogs about anything ranging from relationships to sex toy education, throwing in the occasional racy self-portrait or brutally honest sex toy review and topping it all off now and then with OpEd pieces that sometimes turn into rants. She means well though, bless her heart. In addition to blogging on Dangerous Lilly, Lilly is the creator of e[lust], a monthly publication of blogger-submitted posts on everything about sex & relationships. Find her on Twitter @dangerouslilly.

* How did you get into sex blogging?

I was searching for weeks for a more reliable recommendation or description of a few sex toys that I was considering purchasing.

My prior 6 purchases had been major disappointments and the sites just didn't offer up the type of descriptions that I really needed. My search led me to eventually find a sex blogger who seemed to be just like me, except that she reviewed sex toys. She happened to own the items I was considering and I was able to ask her exactly what I needed to know. Back in 2008, sex toy reviewing wasn't at the over-saturation level that it is now. I wanted to review sex toys for the others like me out there; I also grabbed the opportunity to blog about my sex life and sexuality. It was very liberating for myself and my relationship.

* What's your favorite kind of porn?

My favorite porn tends not to be considered porn. I prefer true amateur stuff, the "home movie" variety, the self-shot girls. Tumblr is my gold spot these days.

* Why do you see a need in having great sex?

Great sex, and orgasms, release all sorts of happy, healthy hormones and chemicals in your body. Sex is good for your physical and mental health, whether it's partnered sex or solo sex.

* What, in your opinion, are challenges you see couples are facing today?

Society and the status quo. Too many people are too influenced by what they feel fits in with society's preset mores and standards, be it beauty or what you do in your bedroom or what your sexual preference is. Too many people think that if a man likes prostate play, he must be gay.

Too many people think that sex toys shouldn't be necessary, or they are intimidated/offended by them. I've talked to a number of men and women who are afraid to bring sex toys into the bedroom - it seems to be more prevalent in heterosexual, cis-gendered couples. The women are afraid that the man will feel like a sex toy is a personal insult to him, his performance, his penis size. The men are afraid that the woman will end up preferring the sex toy to them.

* How do you measure success?

Happiness and comfort.

* What's next for you over the next 6-12 months?

I would ultimately like to start making a living doing something sex-positive. I've been dipping my toe into being a consultant for smaller sex toy companies on things like business practice, social media, PR, affiliate programs, etc. I'd like to do a lot more of that. Anything, really, that involves spreading the word about sex toy safety and sex toy material education, sex positivity, sex toy positivity is totally my bag.