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Leather Fetish: Why It's Awesome

If you think of a full leather outfit, you might be thinking of a superhero. Or a sexy vixen. Leather has become more popular as a fashion accessory (think pants, tops, skirts, etc). Now, how about because it's simply sexy or even a fetish?

We've been curious about this, "leather" thing for some time now. For instance, who are all those groups of lovely people hanging out in Boystown in leather? What's the sex appeal of wearing leather versus other costumes? Why be curious about it, anyway? Since it's 50 Shades of Grey September, we wanted to highlight this fetish and learn more about.

Who better to explain about the leather community than a member itself? This is a guest post from our new writer, the self-proclaimed leatherdyke Emba Embot.

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What is leather all about? 

Leather is tough stuff. Why do bikers wear leather? Sure, it looks cool – but it’s also practical. If you fall off your bike and get dragged along hot, jagged asphalt, you better hope there’s something protecting your tender flesh. And, as anyone who’s ever had a good pair of leather boots can attest – leather, if you treat it right, will last and last and last. We speak metaphorically of the need to “grow thicker skin” – in real life, we often borrow an animal’s hide to get the job done.

Leather is a second skin. It clings to the body, accentuating breasts and hips, pecs and packages. Assuming you haven’t lived under a rock your entire life, you’ve seen at least some Hollywood image of a wicked vamp with gravity-defying cleavage in a leather catsuit. Halle Berry, can you hear me? Pretty please?

Or you’ve seen that guy from the Village People – god bless him! – who has singlehandledy done perhaps the most to inform the American public about gay leathermen, if only through his image. Chest harnesses, leather jackets, bar vests, chaps – you have to have a certain amount of daring to pull off this look, and even if you’re on your way to a bar full of individuals who are also wearing chaps over Levi 501s, you have to steel yourself for the looks you’re gonna get on the street. Thanks to MegaMonaLisa.com for the pic.

Why?

So why do it? People, especially gay men and women, have been wearing their leather out to meet likeminded companions for decades. What mere trend lasts over half a century? Leather doesn’t just look hot (smell and taste hot…) nor does it simply protect us from the elements.

What we wear offers us more than a way to “look good” – it’s a way of telling the world, “You know that super sexualized idea you have of people who wear leather? Turns out, you hit the nail on the head – I’m one of those people, breathing before you in the very flesh. I’m someone who owns up to my desires, who dares to transgress fashion dictates and societal norms, and chances are, I ooze sex appeal with my every step.”

Own up to your leather desire

Let’s be honest: is there anything hotter than owning up to your desires? Think about the sluttiest sex you’ve ever had, or fantasized about – so often, our ideas of what makes something extra-hot is simply wanting it. We often play coy with our desires, not fully admitting to ourselves (let alone others) that what we want is to, say, take control or relinquish it.

Don't be ashamed

Sex is one of the few blissful opportunities most human beings are given to really lose themselves. Yet, we get stuck in our everyday bullshit, wondering if a lover will notice a zit or an ingrown hair, fretting over a looming deadline at work. Deathly afraid we’ll be thought of as weird for really liking it when blowjobs involve hair-pulling and name-calling. Maybe we’re afraid of being thought of as boring for preferring slow, gentle love-making to dirty talk and handcuffs. We lose track of the fact that sex is fun, and it’s not like a cocktail party where you have to pretend to be interested in what other people are saying and you know that everyone else is also pretending to be interested in what you have to say.

The reason you’re having sex with someone is because it’s actually fun and because you like your partner enough to be naked in front of them, and because it’s a cool way to express yourself. That’s you, mind you. Yourself. Not what society expects you to be, not what Cosmo tells you makes a Sex Superstar, not what you assume your partner wants in a man or a woman or whatever – whatever it is that makes you tick, haters be damned.

Honesty, respect & integrity

In the Leather community, few words are thrown around more than these three: honesty, respect and integrity. Think of it like this: we must be honest with ourselves and others about our desires. We must Respect our desires and the desires of others, regardless of whether our desires differ or overlap. And how are we going to do this?

By being people of integrity, by being strong enough to own up to things we think we’re not supposed to admit, by being strong enough to listen without judgment to others who are daring to express their own desires. Leather becomes a (sexy, sexy) symbol of these three components. Leather becomes a show of honesty when we walk out in the street in harness boots and suspenders, and in return we care for our leathers, cleaning and conditioning and polishing them – we show our leathers respect. Through respecting our leathers, we ensure their integrity – symbols that last for years and years, often being passed on from established Leathermen and Leatherwomen to the upcoming generation. Integrity allows us to continue the cycle of honesty and respect.

Curious? Dress the part!

Okay, maybe you’re not about to go and find your local Eagle bar to hang out with leather daddies and their well-toned boys, and that’s A-OK too. Do yourself a favor though, and take a lesson from leatherfolk: dress for the occasion! You wanna have some good sex? Well, put on your good sex clothes! It can be as simple as a pair of luxurious black boxers or a pair of red patent fuck-me pumps. It can be fancy perfume or – my preference – sweat and Old Spice. (Old Spice optional.) It’s a hell of a lot easier to be honest about your desires if you feel like a hot piece of ass, and if there’s one thing you can learn from us gays, it’s this: it always helps to accessorize.

Vegan? Go rubber

Latex, rubber, and PVC are great alternatives to leather if you want that super sexy look without all the animal products! And if you’re a vegan and you made it all the way to the end of this article, here’s your reward: my absolute favorite Mexican hot chocolate vegan cookie recipe.

Emba Embot is a twenty-something leatherdyke with a sweet haircut and several years of experience in the public BDSM scene. She has a shiny new Liberal Arts degree and recently moved to Chicago from the East Coast. Emba is an experienced jazz singer and an inexperienced guitarist; she’s currently writing a lightly-fictionalized memoir that she intends to eventually pass off as a novel. Get in touch with her at emba.embot@gmail.com and follow her (totally NSFW) Tumblr at http://fuckyeahemba.tumblr.com.

From MakeLoveNotPorn: 12 Ways Porn is Fake (NSFW)

The next time you turn on 'traditional' porn (or maybe that's not your thing?) remember, it's fake. It's not real. We got help from Make Love Not Porn because they're pretty much experts on differences between porn and real life.

We wondered about how real life is different from what happens on the silver screen. Our Amber Woods reports.

* * *


1. Hair is always blowing in the wind

Not unless you have a fan going constantly or have someone managing that. You don't have to feel or be sexy with just panties and your hair blowing in the wind. You can be sexy without the high production costs by merely getting naked and enjoying your body. Today.

2. Every person looks like a movie or porn star

Men and women come in all shades, shades, sizes and flavors. Average ladies' pant size in the USA is around size 12. That means super models and super skinny porn stars are totally, unattainably small. In a porn or silver screen movie with high production value, they also receive lots of make up and prep to look gorgeous.

3.  Men have ten inch cocks

Since when? Dicks are like snowflakes. They come in all shapes and sizes. Some are circumcised some are non-circumcised. Not all dicks are long; some have more girth. And just because a man has a bigger cock doesn't necessarily mean it's more pleasing.

4. Things happen in slow motion

This happens more on the silver screen than the porn screen. However, think about it. It... takes... too long.. to get anywhere when you're walking in slow motion.

5. Women have multiple orgasms every time

Not even close to real life. Sometimes, women can learn to be multi orgasmic. Sometimes, women are fine with one orgasm. Some women even squirt when they orgasm. Some orgasms are clitoral, some orgasms are vaginal, or G-spot. Whether they're more or less intense, they're all good. But not every orgasm in real life is a, "screaming orgasm".


6. Everyone is dressed, erm, impeccably 

Not everyone can afford to wear Armani suits and Dulce and Gabana every day all day. Not every lady wears 6'' pink stilettos and keeps them on during sex. Let's face it, not all ladies enjoy heels. I'm not a big fan of wearing heels personally because I enjoy walking. Luckily, sex in real life doesn't require heels or fancy outfits.

7. There's no romance at all

In the real world, sometimes people don't have time for romance. Some don't even want it. Sometimes couples want it and they do have time for it. But in many 'traditional' porn movies (versus feminist porn), you won't see much romance. Hopefully, the sex we have is more romantic and loving.

8. Porn is serious -- no laughter

Sex while it is amazing, is also really funny. It's ok to laugh, have fun, and enjoy sex. Sometimes you fall off the bed, sometimes you fart or pussy fart. Laughing during sex is wonderful and even recommended by our friends Megan Andelloux and Shanna Katz.

9. Everyone orgasms every time

Don't we wish. But the reality is that it's simply not true. Women generally have a hard time orgasming. Occasionally, men have things on their mind that holds them back from even getting it up. This doesn't mean the act itself isn't loving. It just means it's staged, and there are no "bumps in the road".

10. Women and men orgasm together

I don't think I have met a single person who has done this. Ever. During sex, it's completely normal not to come at the same time. You might work toward that if you choose. This might happen when you consider your full range of sex, such as tantric sex. However, coming together is not the holy grail of wonderful sex. It's just as awesome as other things that happen during sex.

11. No interruptions

In the real world, couples have crying babies, dogs that need walking, phones that are permanently attached to their hands, and work to worry about. All of these are distractions and interruptions that we all deal with. Though we do recommend making time for sex in marriage, and avoiding the distractions that happen during sex.

12. Every woman has big boobs 

Women have small, medium-sized and large boobs. If you think you have 'abnormal' sized boobs, you most likely don't. Your boobs, whatever size or shape they came in, are absolutely gorgeous. Your significant other adores your breasts for all they are and loves them the way they are.

This is a guest post by our very own Crimson.

Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson at amber@getlusty.com. 

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